Feels like 1997 all over again

THE BEAUTIFUL GAME

Well, the Ashes start tomorrow and I can't think of one single thing to say about them which isn't being said elsewhere (and nor can Phil Tufnell, to judge from his anodyne pre-match commentary on Yahoo Sport).

All I will say is that I think we will be absolutely hammered by those sneering, smug Aussie bastards yet again, and all the pre-series hype about an England comeback will be put to bed before this weekend. I'm expecting no miracles. In fact, I'm expecting to see a load of bulldozing. Same every tour, every bloody tour.

3-1 to Australia. It's what I said three months ago, and I haven't changed my prediction since.

Fasten your seatbelts, England fans, it's going to be a grim summer.