Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Whodunnit? Er, no one


Who killed Cock Robin?

"I didn't," said the sparrow. "Even though I held him down in the Tube carriage and fired seven shots into his head at point-blank range with a bow and arrow that has been banned under international warfare conventions, I didn't kill Cock Robin."

Who saw him die?

"I didn't," said the fly, "I was off taking a piss at the time. I didn't see him die."

Who caught his blood?

"I did," said the fish, "in my little dish. I caught it and hid it somewhere, so that there needn't be an independent inquiry."

Who'll dig his grave?

"I won't," said the owl. "I didn't even know he was dead until the next day, honest."

And all the birds of the air fell a-sighing and a-sobbing.

So, there we are. No one did it, according to the CPS. Despite the catalogue of failures and shortcomings, no one can actually be blamed for the death of Cock Robin. Hardly surprising that the whole operation was headed up by a Dick.

Stephen Waldorf. Harry Stanley. Jean Charles de Menezes. Why can't they shoot someone who deserves it? (I would link to someone who deserves it, but they'd probably get me for glorifying terrorism.)


Blogger Oscar Wildebeest said...

Somehow I missed James Ashley off the roll of dishonour.

3:55 pm  

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